Global Warming Modest Proposal

Global warming has been an issue for a few decades, now. When it first started being an issue, some people tried to reach out to others. Unfortunately, no one listened. People throw trash on the side of the road like it’s no big deal. They also pollute our water systems. There’s much more that comes along with global warming, but I’m sure you get the idea.

Anywho, our ozone layer has gotten destroyed from all the chemicals that were released into the air by us humans. The o-zone layer protects us from the sun’s hot rays. Without the o-zone layer we would end up looking like Venus(filled with carbon dioxide and no atmosphere), and that is not a pretty sight, let me tell you. Average temperatures have climbed 1.4 degrees farenheight around the world since 1880. You know what that means? That even giant ice caps and glaciers are melting.

We are practically killing ourselves and all living creatures. Polar bears are getting stranded and have no homes. They’re drowning because they can’t find solid land to live on. It’s the same with the adorable little penguins. If temperatures keeps rising, and polar caps keep melting, parts of the world that are on the coast, will sink. That will leave millions of people homeless......or dead.

In order to prevent all of this from continuing any further, I have come up with a proposal to stop it all. We all should convert to transcendentalism. We would all shut down any sort of energy, abandon houses, destroy any money, and head for the woods. We would have nothing to do with society. All for one, and one for all. We would raise our children to learn how to fend for themselves and hunt.

Every family would build their houses out of supplies from nature and live without electricity and plumbing. Each family would have their own farms and livestock so they could produce their own food. There may be mass murders because people will be fighting for supplies to stay alive. But hey, the world is over populated anyways. Besides, the most of the reason why the world is so polluted and experiencing global warming in the first place. So, screw it let’s just roll with the punches.